


Journey of a coward

by Shinigamy



Category: Original Work
Genre: World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22450402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigamy/pseuds/Shinigamy
Summary: This will be a short series from different moments in Nathan-Marias life to get to know him better. They aren't chronically sorted but I may put his age in the chapter title. But it's generally for exploring the depth of his traumatic experiences to get to the bottom of his character.





	Journey of a coward

He was tired, his body ached, every muscle was screaming under his skin and even his skin was burning like fire. Given there was any skin left. Blood and dirt were drying and building a numbing crust on his body while his mind pushed him to move further. Left and right layed people or what was left of them, who weren't as lucky as him to survive or gave up, while withering slowly on the ground. But he couldn't. He wasn't designed to give up. Nathan had a mission and for that he had to survive. The ground under his feet and hands was cold and wet from all the blood around him and hurt with each touch. He cursed himself for loosing his shoe but he couldn't stop and steal one from a fallen soldier. The war happened so fast, but not entirely unexpected. It was written down in that cursed book. Step by step that tiny maniac described his war plans and the nation's around them ignored him. They had closed their eyes in fear, convincing themselves that everything would only happen inside that forsaken country.   
Poland was the first to suffer that much as it did. They had lost and Nathan just happened to be in the middle of the chaos. He should have left earlier but he needed to help as much as he could, he was a doctor after all and he knew what damage the last one caused. The constant mangling of Russia and back then Prussia had left the former Silesia or Poland, honestly there happened so many changed lately it was hard to keep up with the names, crumbled weak and small. It just happened to lay between enemies and it had to pay the price for it. Bad luck. Panting he leaned on his elbows, knowing that he couldn't rest for too long. The army of the third Reich would keep pushing forward and if they would capture him alive he wouldn't stay that for too long. There was little honour left in the SA. As if there would ever be any honour in a war. Preposterous. After another excruciating walk and crawling through the slick soil he finally reached the edge of a forest. A place to hide in. Breathing heavily he dragged himself into a thick dark bush, not even feeling the small sticks ripping at his bare flesh anymore and once he was certain no one could see him, Nathan allowed himself to rest on the floor, staring up at the sticks, leaves and the grey dark sky between the green. The sun would probably shining out there if it weren't for the dust and smoke of the grenades, bombs and guns. For a small moment he allowed his thoughts to wander, but his mind was oddly blank. Only filled with screams and cries that still echoed through his ears and left a worrying ringing. All he could do was think about what he had left at the moment. He hoped that the small town was still standing and his hiding place in the barn wasn't burned down entirely. The Sturm Armee wasn't consisting of Nazis entirely but they were soldiers and when they won they took what they wanted. Some had manners, higher ranked men with decent education, which didn't imply any morality, but a certain fondness of rules that came along with this so called honour. If he had the strength he would snort, but right now he could do nothing but lay still and cry silently until passing out. But passing out was dangerous. He could be found while unconscious and unable to defend himself. With a small tilt of his head he decided he couldn't do that even when conscious, only the cold was a threat. So he had no choice, he'd have to change into his foxform to stay warm and safe but he'd instantly pass out when transforming. It was worth the risk, anything to keep him alive and this cold from seeping into his bones so he pushed another step further and forced himself to transform. He was too tired to scream in pain anymore just a rasping cough left his throat while bones changed and fur broke through his skin. Just before he could enjoy the warm it brought the world went black. 

It had been a few days since his transformation, it would have been hard to live on mice and rabbits, Nathan was held in captivity just as his fox and the wounds hindered too much movement, but the corpses were easy food. It was surprisingly easy to eat human flesh, admittedly at first he couldn't keep it in but what else was he supposed to do? These were no times to get picky and finally the understanding creeped into brain and heart. He survived. The village was occupied by the enemy, so there was no getting close to his belongings. Only once they left to slaughter more people but the war was already lost at this point and the people knew. He saw the old women's empty faces the young women's red ones from crying over what they lost. Not only their husbands but the children. Blond young children ripped from their mothers to be delivered and raised by the high ranking families of the SS. Adopted Arier. At least these women cried for their children, it was more than his mother had done. But Nathan couldn't help any of them, he couldn't show up or change back that easily. So there he stood peeking through the bushes watching German soldiers march up and down the village terrorising the left women. But these women stood strong and with each other, they truly did. He was so glad he couldn't cry right now, because he sure as hell would then he finally decided go closer. After two more days of just watching he decided he might be able to reach his backpack anyway. It was all he had left and he needed it. He had to sell the photos of his lover. Especially the pictures of himself naked sold well enough on the black market to provide food, clothes and cigarettes. It would have been funny if it wouldn't hurt so much. Only two pictures were left along with some negatives to duplicate some more precious pictures of Vincent.   
Carefully he crouched through the broken fence to the barn. It was dark, which was a good sign, he pushed his small body against the door and almost squeeked in relief but his heart dropped as soon as he saw that everything had be searched and it looked like the soldiers had found something. He looked down at the male teens body who had tried to hide himself but he was too close the age of becoming a soldier to stay alive and it looked like he had put on a decent fight. Nathan swallowed hard but moved his head from the lifeless scared face to retrieve his things, given they were still in place. It looked like nobody had moved the loose floor board but as soon as he tried to lift it he noticed that it was quite difficult as fox to lift anything. Silently cursing he kept scratching and pushing the loose board always with little breaks to listen if anyone noticed the noises, then he kept going. After what get like frustrating hours he finally managed to push the board aside to free his backpack. Now he had to either drag it into the woods or put it on his small back. Knowing that dragging would become a problem with the sticks and agility and putting it on might get him stuck in the fence. So he had to do both. First drag and then carry, which required him to put on the backpack as fast as possible. As a fox. Now that might become a problem. Scoffing he dragged the backpack out the hole and tried to put it on. He felt like a toddler trying to get dressed for the first time but after another ten minutes he was quick enough to put it on. Now it was time for the hard part, getting it outside without loosing his life, he just couldn't let behind what little he had left. Slowly and carefully looking around he started to drag his backpack out to the hole in the fence. Again he looked around far too aware of his surrounding, his ears constantly twitching in nervousness. He had to pull with his whole weight to get the leather backpack through the small hole. Then he rolled the bag around and managed to stick his legs through the straps by rolling half on his back and then back up. His body was still damaged from the battlefield but if he got his stuff out he could prepare everything for the transformation and the wounds that would reopen, not to mention his old scars. And of course his moment of putting the backpack was enough to forget about the surrounding and he suddenly stared at dirty brown boots.   
Alarmed his head shot up as far as his anatomy allowed. A young German soldier stared down at him with a weird grin and suddenly tried to reach for the backpack. Nathans sharp teeth dug into the hand until he tasted blood. The man stumbled back and screamed while trying to fumble his gun out with his bleeding hand. But Nathan was faster, with a jump he had dug his jaw into the poor man's jewels. The soldier dropped whimpering on the floor but his fellow men were already alarmed from the cry, so he couldn't give in the urge to bite that man again. With grim satisfaction he fled the scene, down through the bushes deep deep into the forest until the laughter from the soldiers comrades were swallowed by the darkness.


End file.
